Relationships that are only based on Romance

Romance begins with a physical and emotional response to each other and not a character response. It is important however it cannot be the basis of the relationship when it is out of that attraction and a desire to win the other person flows a thoughtful action design to feed the other persons attraction. Culturally we seem to know what kind of actions achieve this and we therefore practice them and we end-up generating relationships and marriages that are only based on that kind of romance and attractiveness. Therefore when the demands of practical living begin and when they begin to increase and intensify after the marriage and the energy of romance begins to be directed to those other areas of responsibility then often the feelings stored-up within the couple begin to diminish and it is not long before that couple is in trouble. This is a marriage that does not have a solid foundation. The only foundation for this marriage has been romance, and romantic love will not stand-up the test of time and endurance. Love comes after marriage, not simply before.  Today, people living in the Western world are supposed to marry for love. Considerable emphasis is placed on romance and human emotion. The challenge each new couple always faces is how to mould this premarital feeling of romance into mature love. For Jewish men and women of Bible times, living in an Eastern society gave them a different perspective on love. To begin with, love was more a commitment than a feeling. It was seen foremost as a pledge rather than an emotional high. It was a person’s good word to stick with someone, to make that relationship work; it was not merely a warm sensation inside.  In passage is Genesis 24, Isaac brought Rebekah into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her. The text above says that after she became his wife, “he loved her.” In short, for the Hebrew patriarchs, love came after marriage; it was not a matter of falling in love and then marrying. Thus, in the biblical world of the ancient Near East, couples were expected to grow to love each other after marriage. In the modern West, however, the emphasis has been more on marrying the person that you love rather than learning to love the one that you marry. Though both dimensions of love are important for modern Christian marriage, there remains a decisive lack of emphasis in Christian preaching, teaching, and literature about the need for love to blossom after the marriage ceremony.